Friday, October 28, 2005


So I got the key!!! Thanks Heidi and Anna for staying up with me to start the "break in" process for my new home....I am so excited...even though the man had not completely removed his stuff I asked him if I could get started....He is done moving...whats left is "things I have no use for"....I told him to not worry about it and leave it....So I am inheriting a lawn mower....probably a BBQ and the yard equipment like lawn chairs and a cooler....who knows what else.....So today I am moving.....hehehehehe and of course it started to snow tires on yet...but oh well....I am moving...I am moving....No more leaks and no morecol more mold and ice at the doors....yay!!!!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Thanks Ladies for the wonderful afternoon. It is always great to get together and BS. Even is some of us had to watch Jerry before coffee hour...know where we rate now. For the first time I feel I belong to a groupe of friends....we each bring something unique into the groupe and best of all it is not like that High School Crap...except for Tab who told us up front she cant keep a secret...We dont sit and gossip and tell feels like a groupe not a click...I love you ladies and look forward to future coffee reality
Warrning!!! This Blog is deep....
So I laid here last night exhausted...not physically that will come in a week after I an done moving. Mentaly though I am pooped. Emotiions are running high with the move just around the corner....but more so my parents and my grandparents are riding hard on my mind. Even more than them is the age process.....seems scarry now that I look at it from an adult point of view...wonder when it was that being an adult meant 'growing up" freedom from constricting orders from people who know absolutly nothing about youth....became well now I am that person who knows nothing about youth (according to my daughter). Am I old now too? Okay aged not old...mature...all positive words for a process that must happen someday to us all. So I lay there last night going over a conversation my mom and I had a few weeks ago....Grandma was taking a planter outside to dump the dead plant over the bluff (not on grandpas yard). she went to toss the contents and tossed herself instead. she rolled down about 15 feet my mother said....then she just laid there waiting for Grandpa to come save her. Two hours later he had toured the yard calling for her but never approached the bluff to look for her there....assuming she must have went to a neighbors (wich he does not her) he went back inside. Grandma then realized she would have to save herself....Now with osteoporosis and her 83 year old body that 15 foot climb back up to the house took her awhile and stripped her of her shirt and bra...this devestated my not be able to help herself up that hill then to show up half naked at the door....well both my grandparents realized that life is changing for them fast now Grandpa just turned 84 I do believe Grandma is 83. Grandpa did not take Grandma to a doctor...I guess she was bruised from head to toe......but the emotional trauma is still haunting her according to my mom. Well as with age comes death....a few days ago my grandmas BEST friend in the whole wide world passed away...Grandma was there untill about an hour before the end...she did not want to be there when Helena took her last breath....Now this is a woman Grandma has had a standing dinner date with for 50 years...every thursday piano and dinner. Now she feels that loss deeply....not to mention her age....Grandpas health has been declining for a few years now...he is almost blind but still functions well. the emotional turmoil may change that....Now I know these are normal life processes and living till 85 is a huge achievement...but i did not think it happens so soon. hehehe that makes no sense silly girl. Okay so now the dad...his leg has been going for a few years now Peripherial Artery Disease is the cause...bad diet, no excersise, and lots of cigs and coffee. So now his foot sounds like it is infected...the infection is effecting the rest of his body and making him toxic. This could kill him. I do not think they wanted me to know....Dad talked to Heidi but neither of my parents mentioned this to the child who has the education to know the truth. Or maybe they just want me to enjoy my new home with no bad memories to cut up the experience....what ever the reason...I know now....I also have this overwhelming desire to get in my car and drive see for myself what is going on...maybe to convince my father it is time to add another tale to his life.....he needs the leg cut off....not a choice one can make easily I am sure but one he needs to make NOW if he is going to be around for a few more years...(sorry heidi but its the truth I think) So how does one stand up to the man who raised them? How does one put it....Daddy we want you to live...leg or not...sound dumb.....I know he is not open to us with his issues and I cant blame him...he is the parent and losing control is hard for him. But I want my daddy alive....I want him to see his grandchildren get married someday...I want him to live to 85 so I can push him over the bluff in his little red wagon.....hehehe....that would make the Christmas letter....thats another thing...who will write the Christmas letter....I am so sorry Heidi but I have to vent these thoughts or they will rott in my brain.....I am planning on moving all my stuff out of here Friday....and Saturday...then hopefull I and my sister will leave for Homer Saturday evening...we will come home Monday morning I think....but I feel we need to go south and find out what is going on for sure....the Holidays are coming...I felt the need to go to Homer this year but with the new house well it would be fun to stay home....but Christmas in Homer is the plan right now I think. Well i got that off my heart for I am ready for coffee with the all should be here shortly so I better put the coffee pot back reality

Monday, October 24, 2005

I made up a little song...
Im just a little insane...
just a little insane.
If I keep singing it I may not call Bob at 4:30 in the morning and scream at him....
So I awake to not one but two screaming babies and a glacier growing in my house.
Yep you guessed it....the damn furnace died AGAIN!!!
of course just a few days before I am out of here...and of course at 4 am. Thank God Eric locked his keys in the truck and can not go to work untill Ron comes in at he is now down fixing the furnace....while I have moved the electric one to the bed room...the kids are back in bed but of course after waking up to 30 degrees it takes a bit to warm up and go back to I am sitting right here shivering wrapped in three blankets trying my damdest not to is almost is almost over....the housing nightmare of my life is almost over....oh Im a little insaaaaane....just a little insane.....and alot cold brrrrrrrrrr. Fire!!! I will start a fire!!!! Im just a little insane....just a little insane....its not working.....I still want to drag his big fat ass out of bed...I still want to cram his face into a freezer and have him just sit there for oh maybe two days while I go to the bar and get drunk.....I want to paint his whole body with the paint he gave me to paint his dump....then sand it all off again......oh now I am getting warmer.....I want to lock him in one of his mouse infested homes....surrounded by all those cute furry "fried" critters....hey maybe I could float him in the lake...ya know the one in the crawl space that is probably frozed into an ice rink by now. When he needs to clean up I will stick him in the electric shock featured "jacuzzi tub" from his add. water will be cold the furnace is broken again...but thats okay...he says so. ohhhhhhhh I did it.....I feel better.....I found a positive in this whole damn mess....It is NOT water logged carpets to freeze into large ice chunks by the's not raining....hehehehe hahahah Bob missed that one huh??? Well I will be gone by the time it starts leaking again.....I hope!!!! reality (sister I think I have lost my marbles) Im alot insaaaaaaaannnnnnneeee!!!!! Just alot insssssssssssane!!!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

This One Bit the Dust

"wow whats that smell? they must have cooked breakfast...smells a little burrned but kind of yummy." These were my thoughts as I walked in the door after my "attitude adjustment" shopping trip. Fed the babies lunch and put them to bed. Britt went down stairs with her friend to get ready to go to the mall. Looking around the house not wanting to do anything....Britt comes back up stairs....and the story goes....."a mouse came out of the vent in the stove. It ran across the counter then returned to the stove...diving into the vent hole to save itself from the two mad teen-agers. Now mad is the right word....what to do in this situation.....well "we turned on the burners so it could not get away. Then we turned on the broiler to kill you mom gonna miss the bus to the mall." she was gone....leaving me to wonder...what exactly happens to a living critter when it is broiled to death...and how the hell can they say she has "a high IQ" I would say a morbid one is more like it....what would have you done in her shoes? I would have stuffed the cat into the stove...hehehe okay maybe not....but I am not sure I would have cooked the my reality.
Its sunday....the week is begining again....almost that time Sarah!!!!

So as most of my friedns have husband is now working seven days a week. Well some think I shoould not complain just enjoy the money and probably the most financial stable life I have ever had.. Well that is all hunkydory....untill my mental panel fuzzes and zipps as the wires of my brain begin to melt into a lump of mental incompetance.
Yes i know the babies will be older soon and independent....I also know that with the independance comes mouths that talk back...friends with bad attitudes...sneekiness......lies and deciet. I also know that having a man around helps keep kids in line. The same person playing and disciplining them all the time they learn to manipulate...or try too. I have lived this one before.
Children are a gift...they are also a royal pain in the posterior end. Children take two (a man and a woman) to make...and I believe they take a man and a woman to raise if the man and the woman are going to win the battle of the children. Not to mention the relationship that will suffer. He will get tired at work...burnt out...probably start assuming I have the easy job I get to stay home. I in turn will start feeling I do everything for the house and kids...he just comes home to eat and leave his laundry...this I know will happen because it has several times in my life. I dont want to fight that battle again. I want to avoid it. Is it so wrong to want to spend time with my husband? If it had been Jeff or was better when they were not home...but with is good when he is home and not tired and bitchy. He used to play with he snaps at her all the time...his patients with the babies is not much better....mostly because his brain is tired and needs a break while he takes that break...I keep everyone else happy. This my friends will not work for me....i know this from experience. I will get lonley....I will feel unappreciated....I will feel resentfull....I will feel guilt.
So what to do about it....well obviously I cant do a whold lot...but I did and I will stand firm....I WANT EVERY OTHER WEEKEND!!!!!!! He can work seven....then five....then seven...then five....and if Ron dont like it....well he can get his ass off one of the two women he lives with and take a 7 day stint. He has two women at home....raising two kids....there fore he can work more hours with all that help at home. Maybe that is what has me so pissed off....that man has his cake and he gets to eat it too. He works five or less days a week on a $90,000 salary. For the most man has to work 16 hour days 7 days a week for a mer18 and that fair. Yes he gets over time after 8 hours a day....but at that point he should be making 60 and hour....So maybe my beef its that the company is taking advantage of Erics willingness. Eric loves his is what he needs to feel like "a man". The time with the guys at work is one of the things that makes him happy. I am glad for him....but there is still a Blazer in the gargage without a steering wheel on am I gonna move that? Hey Travis still have his tow truck? Maybe at nap time I should go and see if I can put it back together....Sarah and I got the part we were waiting for...hmmmmmm. So my friends once again Buddy kept me up from 2:30 till 4:30 thanks anna for staying was great having someone to talk with at that hour while Buddy swung from my hair like Tarzan. Melissa was up at 6:30. Moms dont need time to themselves...the kids know that why cant I figure it out? Well I have decided...durring the wee hours of the morning....I am not gonna be pissed off today.....I am going shopping......If he can make it....and never be here to help spend it....then welll......I am going shopping!!!!! Need 2650 to move in......Bills are paid till January.....that leaves LOTS of money for me to play with.....Alright no lectures on spending.....I aint never just went on a shopping trip for the hell of it....I will be good I reality

Friday, October 21, 2005

Wow Its Friday already....guess the week will go fast.
So yesterday Anna and I took the kids to the zoo on her moms family pass. I am going to get one of those. For 60 dollars a year you can take your family to the zoo anytime. Okay so many will say....why would you want to go to the zoo so much? Well our zoo is wonderful....the groomed trails instead of concrete are like taking a nature walk with bennys.
Melissa just loved it....I think the Tigers were her favorite as she wont quit talking about them. Buddy just loved it all....both took a wonderful nap and the trip to the zoo only took 2 hours including driving time....what a great adventure. It was not that cold either and there were hardly any people except the keepers feeding and cleaning....most of the animals were up playing...Lou thinks the otters are beavers....silly girl.

So this is my last friday in this Friday I will be up at the crack of dawn....oh wait...I am up before dawn this Friday....oh thats cuz the sun slept in anyway next Friday I will be up and loading boxses....waiting for my key.....hehehehe.....I so hope Bob stays out of town till I am done here....that man makes me want to strangle him just looking at him....bad juju'. His "friends" that just moved into the empty one beside him moved out two days ago....heard them yelling at him in the street about not paying him and he better have their deposite by Friday they were hot....guess they did not expect one of Bob's "bargain homes". So maybe that is why he left me alone....did not want me talking to the neighbors....I am already grounded from Rick (the guy on the other side of the wall). So that will make the fire inspector job easier....the places will be almost vavant....should not be much of a moral problem condeming homes with no one in them huh? So my I am playing dietician...what a great excuse for coffeee huh??? Not much more to do untill next week when I can pack what we use everyday.....I am waiting......and waiting......and rality

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I have been thinking....the things in our past lead us to our lives today...we can not go back and change them...dwelling on them will not make them go away....well my friends something really weird happened to me last night. For the first time in months I slept!!! Most of the night even. I also this is a luxery I dont get to often...(used to get night mares real bad so I think that is why I do not sleep well) I dont know what most believe about the after life...but I believe they can contact us and guide us through our lives if we open our minds and hearts to them...well last night I had a visitor talked to me about the future...what it is that I am going to do to help...well that is hard...see over the last few weeks I have had this feeling...a feeling that the world is telling me what to do if I would just look. So I am looking...and the sight has me a bit scarred...I do believe I am suppose to take my education farther...maybe not with college...but I have training that is valuable to our world and an opion even more so....See I am a battered was more emotional and controlling than violent and physically but the emotions did boil over a couple of times...a punch to the jaw landed me in my sons' lap's at one time....this was the only act of physical violence they actually witnessed. Both times he choked me the kids were gone. When Jeff and I were together the physical stuff was a regular....but the kids were to little to remember. Well now it is 25 years later. I have found the strength to not live that way I look back on it I realize it is the judicail systems fault....they made me feel like the violator every time I tried to get away. Then of course family and friends did not see what went on behind the closed door. So if I ever complaind most thought I was blowing shit out my ass.....Well my friends...I now know that is exactly how they get away with the world what they want to see....then close the door on the secret life. I read in the paper yesterday that a woman here in Alaska is addressing the judicial systems part in violating the victim.....Alaska laws are way different than Washingtons from what I am reading....I think I am going to get involved here.......I walked a hard road but I learned the information to survive....can this information help another??? Getting involved would mean digging up past ghosts that I have burried...see not all fights are the violators fault....the victim can start them too just like any other domestic argument....but it escalates beyond common sense and reality in some peoples minds...this is not an excuse but a control the situation you have to know how your enemy works....unfortunatly so many times the victim is told..."if you had not...." this is kind of like subliminal messages and begins to be believable.......So back to how I can help.....I think I am going to contact that ladyand see if I can not get a victims advocate position. These are not always paid postions but the self pay would be worth it. Sounds easy huh?? Okay the down side...alot of time the women in need are with a real psycho....this psycho does not want anyone involved and will go out of his/her way to protect what they feel is their rights. Not usually to the point of killing but fear tacticts work well too.....So I was a I strong enough to push buttons on a Bully???? Next I deluding my self in my abilities??? Oh that sounded like bad self esteem....of course I could handle the psych training strengthened my soul and life experience was polished up with a formal education that focused on health and family.....I never thought I wanted to go back into this type of work....but maybe it was just experience with cancer and death of many much loved patient (yes I usually fell in love with my patients.) tarnished the hospitol image for me....I saw reality and did not like it....(the medical fields reality that is) This is a totally different realm of medicine....but still considerd with in my scope of training. Not sure when I would make this change but my gut tells me I should move NOW!!! why I am not so sure....But my gut is usually what if I am being given the signs that I can help change Alaskas Domestic Abuse Problems???? Do I believe in "signs"? Well I should...they have always lead me in the right direction...ignoring them lands me in "shit creek". Would I have the courage to stand before our legislature and tell them they are screwed in the head with the laws they think "help".???Do I believe in myself and my convictions to push them on others?????
Well friend this was one drawn out Blog....but I did not think any of you would like me much if I woke you at 6 am to talk this out....and dammit the kids are still asleep at 8....and I am wide awake.....what the heck????????????????/ my reality

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


My home is packed,
And ready to go.
Oh why must the days go so slow.

I have cleaned the walls,
And scrubbed the floors.
Even scoured the toilet bowls.

The yard is clean,
The dump run done.
Doggy doo gone
Now that was not fun.

So now my friends
I have nothing to do.
but pick my nose,
and flick it at my clean windows.
One Extra Large Industrial Strength Sharpie
One Dryer (2cycles)

Eric’s work clothes

If you thought Dalmatians while trying to solve this math riddle….ya got it…..the inside of my dryer has spots!!!!
Lots of spots…….Eric’s clothes? Well suffice to say no one will notice the spots due to the permanent oil and grime stains…..but my husband now wears spots………..hehehehehe
Good morning my friends. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives....and in just ten more I am outa this dump!!!!!!!!!yipppppeeeeeeee!!!!!!! So after a week of upheavel....just a week this time.....I am back on track.....this is a mile stone for me....a few years ago this would have sent me into the deeepest dark world of depression.....this time I just got pissed off instead. I know anger is not an emotion that is constructive BUT If it forms the place of depression and you dont hurt others....anger can be a good emotion tooo. I am so proud of myself emotionally that I am on a little today....more boxses....the dump.....and get ready for the new at you all my reality

Monday, October 17, 2005

My threats work
Collin (the realator)called just after I finished up yet another tumble of my guts. I informed him that if he was calling to tell me No then I was gonna just hang my head and flush.....he told me...YES!~!!!!!!! the seller is willing to let us take early occupency. We will move in on the 28th. He is also willing to credit the original earnest monies back to us and the rent we pay will be credited to us in closing.....So my friends...The Ambergate house is mine......(and the apple tree toooooo!!!!!!!)
Hi friends....not much in the mood to blog...cant really think of anything worth while to say...see my brain is fried....between the house crap, the children, the husband, the bills and the stomach that wanted to heave anything I have eaten in the last week (all night). I have had it.....where is my bosses number....I want to call in sick....take a vacation, or just lay around and think of nobody but me................

Saturday, October 15, 2005


DIRECTIONS--remove six letters to form a word.......


Just a mind game to see how smart we all are on a Saturday Morning.....


Friday, October 14, 2005

Alrighty then....we are back on track for the Ambergate Home.....yippieeeeee....the selling agent and my (and Sarahs) agent are friends...Janet (the selling agent) said she would like nothing more than to see us get into that house...especially since normally in a situatation similar to ours the buyer can not reoffer on the same house with a different realator...most realators put that in the termination agreement...Athena was too drunk....she mentiond the earnest money and that we understood we would not get it back....but she forgot to protect we can go again and Collin will get the money not Athena.....We are also asking for early occupency...we are offering to pay the morgage payments for the seller as he has not for over 6 months...IF...we can take possession as soon as possible....THANK YOU SARA FOR GIVING US THE GIFT OF YOUR REALATOR....He is my idol and I will refer him to everyone I meet..............

Thursday, October 13, 2005

S this is me...not doing much

T hey Tab....wanna talk brats sometime.

A ya mean ya did not talk mom out of

the snow- blower??

S ha I upseated ya...good luck

with the inspections.

H oh ya....this should

solve your dilemmma hehehehehe

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Hey I know I am almost the oldest here....but you all will eventually follow in my foot steps....At 35 the magic age hits....mamograms (think I will put this one off their already flat enough), bone density scans, (so they can inform you when your old your gonna break), prostrate gland check (I dont have to do this cuz I aint got a penis....hey ladies found one thing women cant do that me have too....hehehehe) So I went for my bone was an easy test...came out of it with below average but still normal bone density....Doc informed me that it will be alot worse in ten years if I dont do something now....So off I went to buy my calcium and vitamin D.....two weeks after I started the calcium...I noticed my knees and fingers did not hurt so much....I also noticed that when I wack myself on something it does not feel like I broke it anymore...calcium fills in the bone and makes it stronger...this is true guys it is was having some arthritic like pain....hate pain pills so I asked about Glucosamine....the doc said taken with Chondroitin it works and should be a medical med not an herbal...cuz it works....if you take..this pill (the two come in one pill or seperate ones) it says three times a day but I remember 2....this one works on the ligamients and jelly stuff that lubricates your helps make more and provides the enzyme that ligaments need to stay soft. You can add Methylsulfonylmethane to the regiman if your a person who works out...this one is the enzyme muscles need to rejuvinate and stay cant build muscle mass with unhealthy guys it took me a year to invest the 10 bucks for a months worth.....(Im cheap) but I will keep getting it...the digfference in the morning is amazing....not longer have to spend 40 minutes in a hot shower trying to losen up. and best of all I can grip my coffee cup again without dropping it......age is coming and will prevail....BUT....It's not taking me without a fight!!!!!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Hey Look I am a cute little rubber ducky.......(I took Toni's object test.he's a remote control hehehe)
THE PLAY IS ON fat grey cat fat grey mouse old brown dog

Trouble (the cat) has her paw stretched to its limits between the fridge and the wall...I can hear the little mouse's claws on the linolium and he is trying to free what must be his tail...the cat inches forward stretching....concentrating so hard she does not notice the dog...after many ignored grunts Sandy(the dog) decides she is gonna have to get her old butt off the floor and coach at a closer position...Sandy can not sit anymore...her hips are she is standing beside Trouble and grumbling what sounds like directions....the little mouse is struggling feet must be doing 90mph (bet it claws a hole in the linolium)...Troulbe keeps giving Sandy the "nasty eye" as if to tell her where to put her advice...gonna guess that poor little mousy it petrified by now and its little feet are on auto piolet.....Slowly trouble is pulling her paw back out of the crack...Sandys is whimmpering softly as my foot is ready to kick her in the head if she barks and wakes up the babies.....Not really it's stroking her face to keep her from barking.....Trouble is grummbling at the mouse..."just give it up....I only want to's the big lady over there that will stomp your guts out for her."...Sandys inching forward trying to give some assistance...that Trouble obviously does not appreciate...if she had a free paw on the right side she would trash Sandy for interupting.....oh, oh, here comes the mouse...Trouble has it by the tail...half a's out....the dogs gone (scardy cat)...Trouble is eyeing her catch....the mouse is running like hell and getting no where....Sandy is hiding behind the table still grumbling her hell my feet are off the floor and some one call 911 helllllllppppp there is a mouse loose in my house....oh wait it's not lose...Trouble is holding on...kill it....kill it....HEY!!!!HEY STUPID!!!! she let it go...the little guy ran under the fridge and Trouble is walking to my bed for a nap.......????? Oh, NOW Sandy will go over and inspect the her paws on my bed.....Sandy..sniffing out the fridge. the mouse...probably heading back to his buddies to brag about the stupid cat and scarrdy cat dog that live here....."It's safe dudes...lets go feast......." only in my reality
Man I Need A Life

So its Monday morning...spose tobe moving but i wont think about that,
We drove by lots of places...the good think is all but three were actually empty so early occupency may work...the bad get any square footage inside or out side you pay more than we want to at this time....So we began looking at duplexses...funny never thought I would want to live in a joined home...but the one I am in has not been bad....IF the set up were different and IF the landlord didnt suck....but if I buy one...the landlord DONT suck and I can pick one that is set up how I want it....With a duplex we would get about 800 more square feet inside the home....(with small children and Alaska winters I think I need room indoors at this time) The lots on a couple of them were not that bed...yard that fenced and big enough for a play center and to hang out in but small enough that it will only take an hour to clean mow and rake it....Our thought is that in a couple of years when credit scores are better...(then we would qualify for a better interest rate) we could either sell..(if resale sucks) then we could rent it out and be "landlords" (no I still wont suck) There are a couple of homes that would be big enough for us BUT we are not sure about the down the street from Sarah's 420's huge...but the yard is totally overgrown and would take a back hoe to clean it up....they want 249,000...I have looked at many others like it for 228-235,000...that actually had we will ask if putting an offer on it might work....but then the area is to me sarah....its across the street from the park on 6th at the end of the road. So in the mean time IF Bob gives us shit...I am moving in with Josh...hehehe that would be such sweet revenge....dishes ahhh just leave em where ever....laundry..looks great in piles too....and they better stock the fridge with lots of good food....So today hopefully Colin will be available to go look at the homes that are empty and make apt to see the two that are not....while I wait I guess I will keep packing and preparin g to get the Hell out of reality

Sunday, October 09, 2005

ARE WE READY this could be your road next!!

Well my friends...I have once again been searching the news...Weather patterns are messed up all over the world...An earthquake of 7.3 leveled many schools and buildings in Asia...At the same time, in Guatemala torrential rains caused a mud-slide that leveled an entire village...So my question is Are We Ready...I do not want to find my friends and family dead after the excitement ends...But peoples it is gonna come for us...Two major earth quakes on the opposite hemisphere of us had to have shifted earth plates around quite a bit....Which means our plates are now probably being shoved and pushed and crammed...Only a matter of time...History has shown us it will happen...Put away your water...They say a gallon per day per family member for a week...This puts me at 35 gallons of water I am suppose to have bottled up...Well....Okay so I am not ready...But I have my list and plan on using my share of the states money to put together an earthquake kit...One thing to remember when you put it together....MAKE IT AS PORTABLE AS POSSIBLE....Never know when we will have to evacuate and I am not leaving my food and supplies behind...Sounds like instant trouble. Another thing I would like to bring up...The more hands that stick together in an emergency the better off we are...I would like to set up a meeting spot...Somewhere where we can meet to pull ourselves together and plan a survival strategy....A large portion of our little family is going to be out in the Valley...I am hearing they think we will be cut off from each other...But you guys have all the police force living out with you...So here in anchorage we will be a lawless entity....Anyway I would also like to encourage everyone to get two way radios...Or some other way we can communicate...See our cell phones wont work if our receivers get trashed...So to all my friends and family....Lets plan....I am getting very nervous...I am sitting on all sorts of first aid materials...And even have the training to use them... I am willing to teach you all the stuff you may need to help your friends and family when it is impossible to get medical help.. So anyone interested in getting together and planning out a strategy for the inevitable....??????

Saturday, October 08, 2005


So what does one do when their plans changed….freak out….okay the old me would have…the new me….FREAK OUT!! (Kidding but I sure want too.) So today is a new day…will it be the one my “home problems” get solved ….probably not cuz people don’t work Saturdays….except my husband of course….So many of you are unaware of my past…but I have lived through much much worse than this and I can get though this too….just wishing my whole life were not such a pain in the head….

So, Colin is a wonderful man…he was willing to pick up my headache and give me some advice. I don’t think this is a legal move for a realtor BUT he is tired of “People like them are killing the profession.” So we have not totally bagged the Ambergate house…we have till Monday for a miracle…but I do not think it will happen. This messes up my plans… (Although it does leave me more time to pester Bob) but better than that it messes up Athena’s plans too (she had a flight out of state for Tuesday and needs the money for her vacation). See this is the real-estate lady from hell…I met her the first time at another home on Via Apia…just hours before we went to see the Ambergate place…this home on Via Apia was trashed…in the process of a remodel being done by a pack of monkeys…Athena thought it was perfect for us…funny since there was a huge hole in the middle of the living room where the people thought they would put the stairs to their new downstairs.(they had it elevated) must not of worked out for them cuz the hole was “patched” and the stairs went straight down as you walk in the door. (can see it now…groceries, kids, diaper bags, and pets….who will be first to take a slide down the stairs when they walk in the door) so I informed her…we want one we can “decorate” NOT rebuild….On the way to the Ambergate house she sucked down a drink somewhere cuz when she arrived 20 minutes after us even though we left at the same time…she reeked of alcohol…We did not need her nasal voice to tell us this was out home…as soon as she realized we liked it the pushing began….She pushed us to file that night…okay that’s cool I had been watching this home for a few weeks….but then she discouraged us from shopping around for mortgages…said she had the “best in town” guess she should have said :”the best criminal in town.”

At the inspection she was hung over BAD…kept telling me soo…was I suppose to be impressed? She also proceeded to give me her life story….

Fired from Century 21 for (not sure why) she went out to drink and make it all better, that night after consuming an amount of alcohol, that most would drink in a night, in just 35 minutes…she drove for home “before the drunkenness set in”…Drink quick and rush home guys then it is not drunk driving I guess. Guess she forgot to tell the cop…he pulled her over, driving on the sidewalk he arrested her…so the story goes…well she had just bought a tri-plex…like two months earlier…lost her job and failed her Brokers test…So the “fees” “fines” and classes cost her savings.(bet it was bail that did that) so she has repairs to do on the tri-plex before it can be rented….and has never made a payment on it…we are the only case she is working on (this meant she could give it her undivided attention) (between drinks) She even tried to get me to move into her tri-plex until we found a home…(she needs the rent) (hehe that’s funny…cant stop Bob cuz he owns duplexes and their not mandated in this state, only triplexes and larger have to have annual inspections. Ha-ha)

Does she not sound desperate to sell a home?? So Eric called her last night. Colin advised us to tell her that the extra 12,000 grand that has disappeared will come out of her commission if she wants to sell this home. Well she was at the bar and drunk…not writing the extension that she was suppose to work on. Eric was pissed and told her forget it we are done. So I am out that home, (unless Colin can perform magic) and am once again looking…Please pray that this will work out…I am tired of finding the idiots and really need a break from them….seems they find me even when I do not go out looking….this idiot is Eric’s find….hehehe…makes it better knowing my husband and I have the same “stupid people” antennas...they find us. So I have written a book…anyone actually read this far??? Well if you did there’s a million bucks at the end of the rainbow I am told…and I am gonna find it first………my reality

Friday, October 07, 2005


What do you get when you cross a realator with alcohol?
So my house deal is off....oh shit gave Bob his to be out of here...what am I to do...
my realator is an alcoholic....when Eric called to tell her we were not going to go through with this house now that we have been informed....a. the payment will be 2500 instead of 1500 like we were promised...b..the morgage lady has been indicted four times on morgage fraud
c..the morgage company has not closed a deal in over six realator has never closed on a house..has been fired by three different agencies..including the one she was presently working for...yea she is unemployed...she was at the bar(she was suppose to be home putting an extension together.) she tries to hook us up with another morgage guy...well the exact words of the the realator we hired tonight....thanks Sarah..."those three should have all been behind bars by now." So I guess "Eddie" has a rep too. I aint no stupid person...should have seen the realators face when I mentioned the fraud thing...see she has lied to us from day one...the sale of this house was going to keep her from losing eveerything..."thanks to the cop that pulled her over and gave her a DWI" funny how she is in worse doo-doo than I anyways...we hired Colin...he is looking for us am I ...have found a few more..but the apple tree was so sweet I am not sure any will compare...we thought about renting again for a few months till we could come up with a decent down but anything to fit us would cost damn near 2000 a month to rent...might as well risk forclosure if you gotta pay that much anyway...still may be able to pull a miracle on the Ambergate house....but not I am all packed with no where to go.....

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Sitting here at the computer on Tuesday, chatting with my sister, a small hand sneaks up under my arm and snatches the the floor he falls clutching his prize and crawling as fast as his four little appendages could carry him...fllop..he does a face plant...still clutching his mouse he realizes the thing is attached to something...before I could get to him he pulled hard...good thing he is only two or the whole computer would have been on the floor...but that poor dear mouse...his little back snapped and his tail hangs limply behind more clicking for him....he dropped the dead limp thing and crawled away cackling his demented little laugh...(guess he was trying to keep me off the computer.)

Yesterday I went to Freddies to buy a new mouse...Heidi mentioned a rat...maybe when I around for the cheapest little critter I could find...Ha he cost me 9.99...I wanndered into a dude stocking shelves...he had the most perfect packing boxses so I enjoyed my time away and "shopped" for a while longer waiting for the boxses.

With my mouse hanging from my teeth, protected in his box still, my boxes stacked just so...I worked my way to the one trip mind problem getting my load through the door, my mouth was getting tired from carrying the mouse...just a few more feet to the extra room where I will drop the boxses till I am ready for them.

pushing the door open in front of me...thanks to the water damage the doors do not latch anymore...I stepped into the room to toss the boxses...crunch...boxses fly....mouse falls from my screaming mouth...and lands on the floor next to the body of his cousin...intestines hanging out of his mouth from the pressure of my foot....the cat....goes sulking away as I have just killed the fun......IN MY REALITY
WOW It's Thursday...payday...oh wait that is not the hightlight of this week....something new is happening...papers get signed today when Eric gets home...maybe that means they will file them on Friday...instead of Monday...I am so antsy to get out of this dump before the snow falls...So I gave the landlord his notice that we were going to vacate...I also withheld the rent do to numerouse notices to him to do repairs...(this is the legal way to do it...I spoke to an attorney) He came back a couple of hours later and handed me a "Notice to Quit" this my friends is an eviction notice...first one I ever got...Cant believe I am being evicted by a stupid person...even more that that...cant believe the "stupid person" had the balls to do that...well I am right he is wrong and I WILL not continue to let idiots push me around....So I have an appointment with the Fire Marshall at 3, the IRS has no body by the name of Robert Galkovich on their files....ooops guess he did a boo-boo...they were interested in the man with not one but three rental properties and a car lot that does not pay his taxses. Well I helped him out...Uncle Sam now has his address and phone well as the address of the car lot....never know they might want to buy a car with the 11,000 they have already taken from my husbands check. Wow I sound like a real Bitch...I am not I swear...just prone to random acts of bitchiness....(against stupid people) I do not feel guilty for turning him mother would have told me to just leave and let it go....I am tired of following that advise...sorry mom it does not always work that way. Sometimes even nice people have to assert for my life motto "Live andlet live..treat others as you want to be treated...well IF i were a slumlord I would hope someone turned me in....taking advantage of people is wrong...even IF you are the land-lord.
So in just four more days I will no longer have to clean up the water that seeps in when it rains...I will not have to wake up to screaming cold babies because the furnace has given up again...(six times in 3 years) always in the middle of the coldest weather too. No longer will meals and clean up be a headache...all the appliances in the new place work....(their all only a couple years old.) BEST of all NO MORE BOB!!!!! I can still do drive bys and scare the pants off him....I am his worst reality.........

Monday, October 03, 2005

Monday morning,
The sun is shining in the partly cloudy sky. Snow sprinkled on the mountain rage giving morning a frosty image….winter. It’s there…hiding just behind the month of October…oh ya the month of October….Seven more days….yippie ya…..I am getting out of here….The time has come the time is now…Yes the Baxter’s have figured out how…..After damn near three years in this home…I finally figured out the damn heater issue….When the furnace works…There are two thermostats in this house…one downstairs (should run the downstairs right?) Well it does…but it also controls the master bedroom…Now Britt’s heater is the only one in the house that works too well….70 turns her room to 100. So of course she turns off the thermostat downstairs…this my friends freezes the piss out of who ever is sleeping in the master bedroom. (So now I know why my babies keep wakening up at night…their freezing thanks to their big sister). See I sleep on a mattress on the living room floor…we freeze anyway cuz the slider glass door has a built in air conditioner that wont shut off…but we are smart enough to stay under our blankets….so tell me. is it normal for homes in Alaska to be heated this way…I have lived in many homes and most have had a thermostat that controlled the temp in every room. Some of the smaller apartments had one that controlled the whole house but the bedrooms could be shut down if you did not want the heat. My man is a sleeping furnace…you could heat two homes off his body heat when he sleeps…I like a cold room so I can snuggle in and he keeps me warm…the kidos need a warm room as they do not stay under covers….Britt likes her room cool too. I should have checked the thermostat set up at my new home…but the furnace was REPLACED and the entire heating system was brought up to date and serviced….should mean I will make it a few months before I have a NO heat issue….(Bob you’re an idiot) (oops there was that RAOB) sorry it slipped…. So today I am starting the packing that I waited to do to keep me busy the last week…..No the computer will not be packed yet…you are stuck with me…It will stay here until the last or until the cable is transferred…I will make all those calls as soon as the papers are signed…..and the best news is having my husband working such long hours and making decent money cuz of it….I get to decorate the house…he said the living room has to be white (ha we will see) but other than that it is all mine…a blank pallet to color however I want…..hehehehehehehe…in my reality

Sunday, October 02, 2005


Josh says I should post a “reward” sign for Britt’s bike.
Says when the kid shows up to collect the “reward”
I should take the bike and let Britt kick his @$$.
Okay so maybe beating the kid up is not the solution but
Breaking his thieving fingers, would that be so bad???
(Oops there was that potential for random acts of Bitchiness.)
Crystal thinks if the kid knows I am looking for it
They might paint it or something else to disguise it…
I am not a thief; I worry too much about the poor kid I am stealing from.
What does a kid do with a stolen bike???
What does a parent do that finds their kid with a stolen bike???

Well that’s my thoughts…family is all away “shopping” I am going to go take a nap.

Nighty night………off to my reality

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Question of the Day....

If someone choses to do a hate crime....(such as tying a lynch knot in a rope at a predominatly "Colored" Wallmart)...... leaving it hanging in the isle. No one notices.....someone unties the rope and puts it back on the shelf....has an offense happened??? Should we make an issue of these things if no harm has been done yet????? in my reality.......(people would not do such "stupid" things.)
This Old House.

After graduating from nursing school and finally obtaining an income,
Keith and I decided to buy a house. (Keith is Brittany dad and my second spouse)
We shopped around quite a bit, in fact one day we were out looking when we noticed a realtor putting a sign up on a BIG mustard yellow house.
This house sat in the middle of a cull-d-sac, was sitting on higher ground then the other three homes, (an important thing in a state where it rains 10 months out of the year) and best of all there was .75 acres of land with it…don’t sound like much here in Alaska but in a state where 0 lot lines are built just to fit the people in…..75 was a gold mine.
The price…
Well the house was on the market for $89,000, yes that’s right….not even 100 grand…houses are cheaper out there, but this was a steal….
The Catch
Here is what was selling for $89,000
A large mustard yellow tri-level home. Entering the home you could go up the stairs, down the stairs, or to the right and down a step into the garage…thus a “tri-level”. So lets start with the huge black wooden door….two gold textured windows the height of the door mark the entry way. The entry way floor is cluttered with coats boots and shoes. You can tell the linoleum is green, not just any green but the sterile green they use for hospital scrubs. The linoleum is rolling up from all the corners and chunks are missing from the middle….no biggy it’s only a 5x3 foot entry way…cheap fix… So let’s go up first…the walls of the entry way pictate the story of Christopher Columbus…..maps and the three ships, are printed on the paneling . Wow how 70’s huh…..well the carpet on the stairs is non-existent; except for a stray scrap stubbornly hanging on to the nail...many animals and children I suppose. Okay so it needs carpet…but…coming to the top of the short staircase you are in an open room with a huge front window….Mt Rainier is the feature of the day (the sun was actually out.) A inlaid wood stove occupied the center of the main wall…this stove looked like you’re average wood stove…but it was four feet deep… did not have to chop up the wood after the fire was going….this stove heated the entire house, we usually always had to have a window open it got so hot. The home was filthy…the owners obviously did not care… could not see the walls or carpet due to the junk. You could tell however that it would be HUGE one their shit was out of it. So on to the bedrooms…there were three upstairs…the master had its own full bathroom. Mind you it was painted Pepto Bismal pink with blue carpet... okay beat the green carpet in Brittanys room or the orange in the other one….so it was decorated in the 70’s, just means I only have one coat of paint on the walls…plenty room for more…another full bathroom in the hallway…may have been remodeled…but still pink….So the kitchen and the dinning room occupied the remaining space upstairs..1800 square feel of living space and this is just the first floor… the kitchen was a mess…someone had purchased shelving from the local K-Mart’s going out of business sale and decided to remodel the kitchen themselves…of course this is something we did not pay close attention to and did not notice that not one cupboard was large enough to hold a standard drinking glass upright. Made unpacking a BITCH. And the kitchen a priority….but on the walk through you saw a beautiful black and white kitchen….the sink was a corner sink and beautiful…not to practical but quite beautiful….they had dropped the ceiling down to accommodate the lighting…not sure what their plan was there but we assumed that was the only real issue we had to deal with in the kitchen. Off the dinning room was a large deck leading to the wooded back yard…most of the property was in the back…..the fence was intact and obviously the neighbors had kids for mine to play with….Down stairs was unfinished…it had a large room with a fire place…the laundry room and another full bath…plus what would eventually be three more bedrooms with some paint and carpet….one needed sheet rock….So we saw space and potential….we made the offer….they accepted….FHA made them put on a new roof, paint and carpet. We closed on December 23, 1999. that night I longed for a hot shower…going into my own bathroom…NO KIDS hehehe…I turn on the water and step into the shower…it's cold…I turn to adjust the knob and the water stops coming….I hear shrieks coming from the downstairs…Josh was on the pot….it appears the pipe in the wall that the shower is hooked to BROKE….the water inside the wall made the ceiling in the bathroom below soggy, collapse and poof Josh is no longer on the pot……he is taking MY shower….damn kids. So the night mare began…..renovations were not cheap….time was not available and know how was lacking.
10 days and counting….I hope I am not in for a repeat……