Thursday, January 31, 2008

Sled Dogs

I am discovering something new...funny because without the internet I have been winging it with Mac and the sled. He is teaching me as much as I am teaching him. Thanks to Uncle Bill I was able to quickly find a site that gave me a lot of useful information. A sled and gang lines will be something I will be looking into soon...hopefully I can find something that is affordable...Mac is a natural and LOVES to pull. I had to hold him back the first he looks to me for commands. Unfortunately I can never remember which is right and which is left...but he knows what I am talking about. He is mainly concerned with the stop thing...thats when he gets a cookie.

Melissa loves to ride on the sled and begs me to let Mac go faster...I am thinking of taking her down to the young musher's society and seeing what they got going...maybe she will race the Iditarod someday. For now Warren cheers from the window...he is still a little uncoordinated in his snow gear and does not enjoy the out doors as much as his sister in the winter. By next year I may need a second sled and dog.

Oh that brings Alexsis into the picture. A beautiful Shepard she will be. They must have been confused when they thought she was predominantly husky. She too is a strong puller, but she gets distracted and has a mind of her own. Not as eager to please as Mac she is proving to be an asset in training him to ignore distraction but a hazard to have hooked to a harness and sled...for now I work with her on walking on a leash...a safe thing for us both.

So I am looking forward to a day when my dog and i can roam the river front...ride to Shane's cabin or just walk the kids to my sisters house with out me carrying them!! My dog is a champion...he loves me so much he wakes me whenever anyone else gets up, or comes in...just to make me aware of a problem I need to take care of....another wards...he is a barking chicken shit!! A pocket full of cookies and he will be your best friend...with a very LOUD bark.

A Month!!

WOW a month I have been off line...okay real close to it though.

So while I was gone I would like to say I aquired a million dollars...but I did not.

I did however teach my dog to pull....he LOVES to pull...I have been working with him daily and soon he will be big enough to pull the on gas ya know.

So as the month of January draws to a close I am off restriction...still broke...and still not smoking cigarettes. Now I am going to work my dog...I will be back tonight for a good blog.


Monday, January 07, 2008


Alright…here are the things I am finding the most difficult about being a quitter.

1. Changing ones schedule. For almost 25 years now smoking has fit into my schedule, I made sure of it. Now what do I fill that time with that will not make me feel negative?
To solve this problem will be easier now that school is back in and I actually have somewhat of a schedule….today instead of dropping Britt off and going back to bed or sitting here at the computer wishing for a cigarette…I took a shower, and prepared for the day…spending extra time pampering myself…As for the rest of the day…I am not sure what I will fit into those “breaks” but I will figure it out.

So it seems quitting is like losing weight…many many life style changes needed to accomplish the task of quitting…

2. What to do with my hands…at home this is not a problem…but in the car it is craziness. I hold my lighter in my hand…tap it on the steering wheel or just “flick the bic” somehow this makes my dumb brain think it got what it wanted…silly brain.

3. Healing the itchy burring skin from those stupid “glue on cigarettes” in the shape of an ugly band aid!! Gave them up quick…and those chalky (sp?) cigarettes they try to hide in the form of a breath mint….don’t go there! (I got lots left if anyone wants to try them…ewww!)

Now for some of the things that have made me feel good and assisted me in this quitter process…the “not homeless anymore” man that wished Brittany a Happy New Year and let her know he is “no longer homeless”. I am so happy for him and I hope it all works out.

My Grandmas comment to me about my home and family…it made my year to hear…what more does one need than the compliments of ones Grandma.

The need to compensate the insulin rush caused from smoking (eating) has finally subsided. I am sleeping better, and actually dreaming again and remembering them…must have something to do with NOT waking up wanting to smoke every hour.

I do not feel much different in the respiratory department…and I refuse to read the manual on “Health bennys for quitting.” What ever will be will be…I just want money for a darn vacation before it will be!!!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Life is just a game...bum,bu, bu,bumm

So in doing my research for a paper I am writing I discovered some interesting facts about heart disease.

After reading this...and thinking about my own personal experience with high cholesterol at a young age and my habits that increase Atherosclerosis i cant help but wonder...

What if my teeth went bad because the blood flow to them decreased as those arteries are closer to the source of intake for fats...what if science has it back wards...the teeth going are a sign of the other not the cause...I am sure they would have checked their test subjects...but what if??

What this means to medicine is immense. What this will do to our insurance costs is going to be ghastly. When they finally realize that oral health is a part of humans health and not just a physical feature many will be upset about losses they can not recoup once medicine admits they have neglected their job.

Now for dentistry this will be the exact opposite. They will have to control their costs as health insurance will be in charge not dental. No longer will dental be considered cosmetic. When that day comes...I will be in line for my new teeth...and not in line for the law suites that will blow this industry away...

For now suffice to is cosmetic and medical is an experiment on your health. Even though we now know that periodontal disease in mothers can cause pre term labor, may be the cause of or a symptom of that long word I used this too...

So as I research I learn me a dremal tool and a wood burner...gonna make me some cool teeth and prevent many illnesses...It worked for George.


gotta have a brain to get dementia...this guy is probably safe from periodontal disease induced dementia. LOL

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Can you say that sucks!

Gun pwns Girl

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Hey I have been here...but the gun hit the dumb Coast Guard Guy that thought it would be funny to put a whole lot of power in a little gals hands...he under estimated my ability to duck (I was raised with a big brother) the gun hit him in the head when it flew from my hands...not me lol

Friday, January 04, 2008

Another one bites the dust...

It has been several years that I have been planning the "perfect way" for me to quit smoking. First I identified what triggers my smoking...the list was intense. Figuring out my triggers was the first step as well as the easiest one. Then I decided to analyze my rational (excuses) for all came down to this.

I smoke because I like too...and IF I did not have to worry about a heart attack and my babies being raised without me I probably would NOT quit.

So today went okay...fought with Britt but that is nothing new when "that time" comes around...but today instead of arguing...I walked out. I walked in my Yukon and drove to Wasilla to see Sarah....not planned but someone I could go hang out with that can relate as she is now 9 years free...okay she is also one of the only friends I have...I really need a life. The road trip was another challenge of a trigger.

I did it!! Drove all the way to Sarah's with out stopping...on the ride home it was so a pack for Donny then mooch one or two...I with held as a little voice in my head said..."Yah dummy buy the kid smokes...the kid who grew up with asthma...that is a dumb move mom!" not sure where the voice came from...but I pulled into Arbys to get food.

Behind the counter was another friend I met through Anna a long time ago...did not know she had moved to Wasilla. While waiting for my mass of food (had to get enough to last the ride home.) we got to talking...she commented on the amount of food and my reply..."I am eating like a fat chick..." Her manager over heard us and gave me my food for free...they even added cheese cake bites...he too had recently quit smoking...hehe maybe they have a club or something.

So this day is now over...and was not as bad as yesterday...Sarah says it will continue to get better...she better be right.

So toodles all and know that yes I still want a cigarette...and yes I have mooched a couple over the last four days...and they made me ill...does that mean i am making progress??

Okay Yesterday Sucked!

But today I did not wake up feigning for that cigarette...I did not go hunting the house down for that one missed butt. In fact...I am feeling rather impish today...much better than yesterday when the tears would not quit for nothing! Man was I an emotional mess! Crystal came for her stuff and her brother had a chip on his shoulder...I asked him to show me some respect in my home and he called me a bad name...not good for him as lately in my home I am DEMANDING respect from people or they can get this case The GI from Iraq realized he was not messing with no sane terrorist. He was messing with a pissed off nicotine deprived that is scary! After a nose to nose show down...I won...he apologized and we went about moving Crystals stuff out...his father did have to point out that he was chasing the wrong "cat"...something about me not climbing a tree and him getting his nose scratched...this was funny as I was close enough to bite it off!! LOL...did not know I had it in me...he is big and trained...but that cocky attitude those young men get just pisses me off! Shoulda turned him over my knee and busted his butt...then Josh and Crystals too...that might fix em'! or at least have made me feel better. So anyway...when one is trying to quit smoking DO NOT HARASS THEIR CHILDREN not good for ones health. So today will be better...I feel pretty good this morning...made it through a visit with my sister with out mooching a smoke...that is two goals down...made it to the store with out buying one I am on the right track...although the mood swings are killer...and I hope I do not have any more days like yesterday!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Okay now...

Why is it the first couple days go by so well then one day you wake up and just want to slap everyone...yes you annoy my nicotine deprived brain. Okay so maybe not you...or maybe it is you...that word mama...annoys me...I need...annoys me....I want...annoys me...Brittany spending the day in bed...annoys is when I do the what about me...I would love to spend this day in bed...thinking of only myself...instead I am pretending to be broke while I scrounge quarters, dimes and nickels, yes even her favored nickels....soon I will have enough to go buy more munchies...this can not come out of my normal food budget or I will never get my vacation...if I take a debit card to the store in the mood I am in...I will by three cartons of cigarettes and a bottle of tequila to go with. hmmm....not a bad idea really....then I would not smell the diarrhea all over the bathroom from the flu warren is getting over...three days of eeewww all over my house at a time when my damn nose is trying to work again...why is it when one tries to stop something....EVERYTHING possible jumps up and tries to mess it up?? Oh don't answer that...I wont like the answer fact I probably would just get annoyed at you for so I am not quite that bad...but close so I am trying to find humor in this whole mood would think since it is our own mood we would be able to control it a bit easier...for now...I may just go kick the dog....kidding...okay maybe not...dumb thing was in the trash...taking it out of the can but not out of the house...maybe some day I can train her to do the chore no one else can figure out...hmmmm thinking material...toodles all....

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A better Day

Funny how the anxiety did not start until now. Hmm...the thought of waking up without a cigarette tried to get me...after waking up a couple days now without. Been really busy doing a lot of moving things around...keeping my hands and body busy definitely helps. So the reason for this drastic change in my life that has needed to be done for so long...chest pain...silent but deadly heart attack for women. I have been in denial , blaming it on indigestion and such...but the pain increases when I smoke...especially if I exercise after I was better...a couple times on the stairs I noticed some pain but it quickly went away. Now this could have still been bowel issues from lack of food...but I decided why take that chance. Heart attacks usually kill women...I am more afraid of a heart attack than cancer...hmmm...wonder why? after all this time...I am ready to save my heart...I think I need it still. In the mean time...with the decrease in time spent smoking I have repacked, rearranged, moved and threw away half the house...tomorrow the other half. Unless I decide to make Britt baby sit and sleep part of the day away...I deserve it...

So now that I have saved 32 dollars in cigarettes, and the cupboards are empty so this will probably go back into the grocery budget...but...if I keep it up in no time I can save the 1000 dollars I need for my "mini" vacation....I could do it on 600...but a grand would be so much more how many days do I have to not buy cigarettes to make up that grand?? Wanna know where I wanna go???

Day one

Awoke this morning early actually, and rolled over pulled my pillow over my head and went back to sleep. When I awoke at ten my wonderful husband had the kitchen and dining room clean and a fresh pot of coffee on. I swallowed the tart remark I felt rearing it's ugly head knowing it was the nicotine talking...troops deplenishing it wants more the, a box of cereal and off to my paper...of course being a holiday this had nothing interesting in it, so I scanned my blogs and my the coffee in I felt ready to see my family.

All in all day one went well. I did not eat nearly as much as yesterday....the intense stomach ache and the vomit smell from Warren barfing all over my house last night took care of any appetite I might have had. (You would have though it was him that ate the refrigerator empty!)

Seriously if you think I am joking...I am husband now believes that I used to be a "fat chick".

Still have not bought any cigarettes. May not now that they went up in price again...have mooched a couple off Donny...maybe two...but seems that other than the "What the hell does one do when they are not smoking" issue...I am doing okay...but you may want to ask my family how they are doing....hehehe

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


Its only just begun..What is there to say???

Happy New Year to all...