Friday, January 04, 2008

Another one bites the dust...

It has been several years that I have been planning the "perfect way" for me to quit smoking. First I identified what triggers my smoking...the list was intense. Figuring out my triggers was the first step as well as the easiest one. Then I decided to analyze my rational (excuses) for all came down to this.

I smoke because I like too...and IF I did not have to worry about a heart attack and my babies being raised without me I probably would NOT quit.

So today went okay...fought with Britt but that is nothing new when "that time" comes around...but today instead of arguing...I walked out. I walked in my Yukon and drove to Wasilla to see Sarah....not planned but someone I could go hang out with that can relate as she is now 9 years free...okay she is also one of the only friends I have...I really need a life. The road trip was another challenge of a trigger.

I did it!! Drove all the way to Sarah's with out stopping...on the ride home it was so a pack for Donny then mooch one or two...I with held as a little voice in my head said..."Yah dummy buy the kid smokes...the kid who grew up with asthma...that is a dumb move mom!" not sure where the voice came from...but I pulled into Arbys to get food.

Behind the counter was another friend I met through Anna a long time ago...did not know she had moved to Wasilla. While waiting for my mass of food (had to get enough to last the ride home.) we got to talking...she commented on the amount of food and my reply..."I am eating like a fat chick..." Her manager over heard us and gave me my food for free...they even added cheese cake bites...he too had recently quit smoking...hehe maybe they have a club or something.

So this day is now over...and was not as bad as yesterday...Sarah says it will continue to get better...she better be right.

So toodles all and know that yes I still want a cigarette...and yes I have mooched a couple over the last four days...and they made me ill...does that mean i am making progress??

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