Saturday, September 30, 2006

Being Selfish

Recently this has come up in my house quite a bit...it makes me think...What exactly is "being selfish"?
Is it asking someone for help and expecting to have that help? or maybe...
It's asking for help then nagging about it for weeks untill it happens...?
Could it be finally doing it oneself instead of asking? This is the one I think it is...seems everyone feels that they should NOT be asked to help. In todays world this seems to be an insult to the persone being asked...like maybe the asker is insinuating lazziness.
Maybe selfishishness is when one choses to help another and that other choses to "forget" that the home they are living in is NOT theirs...that the food their consuming...is NOT theirs. That the hot water they are using when taking a shower...IS NOT THEIRS!!
May selfishness is ASSUMING that life should be made perfect for one by another. The need to have someone else give one happiness. Maybe selfishness is NOT wanting to begin life at the beginning but expecting it to be started for one in at least the middle.
I am not sure but in my upbring I was taught...
NOT to take things that belonged to other people and IF I did "borrow" something it was "selfish" not to share in return.
I was taught that it "was selfish" of me to "expect" someone else to clean up after me.
I was taught that it was "selfish" if I did not do my part in helping the family home run smoothly.
So forgive me if I am being "selfish" for asking for more than a few minutes of time by myself.
Forgive me if I dont jump and do your laundry...I am being selfish.
Firgive me if I have not prepared dinner because someone said they would do the dishes and they never got done. I am being selfish.
Forgive me if after 12 hours of chasing babies and cleaning messes not nearly fast enough, I chose to NOT spend time with you and the other "adults" in this home. I am being selfish. (Come see me when the babies are in bed.)
I am accused of being selfish...maybe I am being selfish...but as I see it...TREAT OTHER PEOPLE AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.
Sorry but I know this is not just a problem in my home. In fact it is probably a problem in most of Americans busy households. A problem that has no one solution and the equation is too long for most people to commpute.
I once knew a family of 16, (this mother had to be insane) Selfishness was NOT an issue in this home. Every one had a job (one room assigned to every member of the household and it must be done daily.), dinner was split up two people each night cooked and cleaned the kitchen. (a job done together helps build the skills needed to work with others.), Working members of the household deposited money into an envelope, sealed it, and stuck it in a box. This money went to food and other neccesities in the home...laundry was done by the mom...she washed and dried two peoples clothes a day it was the owners job to fold them and put them away, as well as to make sure they were in the laundry room on the day assigned. This family ran smoothly and all involved felt pride in the home they maintained. Best of all was with all working together they had a lot of time to spend playing together and just enjoying one another.
Selfishness- adj, 1: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrationg on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others 2. arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in desregard of others.
Funny how the next word in the dictionary is...
Selfjustification. n: the act or an instance of making excuses for oneself or behavior.
Selfish-I want time all by myself with out having to "make up" the chores I did not do to get this time.
Selfjustification-I spend 7 days a week taking care of, cleaning up after, and refereeing fights, between four learning human beaings. I teach them, cuddle them, disciple them, train them, feed them, get beat up by, puked on, peed on, pooped on by these little humans. I take it in stride and keep hold of my temper with them 98% of the time. The other 2% I am hiding in the bathroom.
Okay now they are all gone...guess they did not like reading over my shoulder...now I am going to take a nap...when I wake up they better have the chores done that are their messes not mine!!!!!
So now I done ranting to the world...learn from my mistake...practice safe sex!!!

Comments on "Being Selfish"

 

Blogger Princess Sarah said ... (10:40 AM) : 

I know it is not easy to do what you are doing and know that you are doing a great job, some days are harder to get through than others for sure. I cant even imagine the little ones every day all day, mine do range in age. I wish I had some good words of wisdom for you I can say hang in there and deligate your chores and hope that no one talks back to you, you are doing it all and deserve to be treated with respect and love. I feel your pain and I am here for you to vent on if ever you need me...coffee day again, should we do it at my house?

 

Blogger Stan said ... (11:17 AM) : 

Just remember, a sense of humor will get you through most turmoil, I am not selfish as I let the Golden Granny mow the lawns, do the luandry, clean the house, cook the meals, do the dishes, make the beds, wash the windows, clean my fish, and get me the remote control when I want to change channels - I enjoy sharing the workload. See humor, helps!!!!!

 

Blogger Tabitha-n-AK said ... (9:03 PM) : 

AAAHHHHH! Shana! Good luck my dear. You must have been really pissed when you wrote that!

I think you need to yell at "selfish" and tell him or her, what they are not doing.

love ya

 

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