Friday, June 23, 2006


My deliveries began today down town…I will not even get into this one as the night mare of traffic, tourists, and street closures for construction make it a two hour period I would rather forget….So…once again I returned to Fort Richardson with a van full of balloons. Now getting onto this particular military establishment is not as hard as you would think. Although a cute chick with a handful of balloons and cookies will sway any soldier. The security know me well at the gate and today met me outside with my pass…they wanted an excuse to see my van. Impressively the van was filled with colored latex, shiny streamers, and the smell of fresh baked cookies. These soldiers returned to their posts with smiles on their faces and coveting my job. Hehe…….Putting my pass in the window, upside down, (this makes the next soldier have to cock his head in funny positions to verify that I am who I say I am…even though he is 10 feet from the place I just received my pass from). Driving away I see him smiling too. Arriving at bldg. 652 was not as easy as it sounded…all the bldgs are numbered on the facility. This makes it easier for the soldiers to find their way home. You would think that 652 would be somewhere near 651 and 653…..NOT….you will find bldg 652 next to bldg 706 and around the corner from 420…???...

Finding the bldg I got lucky and found parking right up front….this helps when you are trying to maneuver 25 helium balloons from a van into a building with a standard size door. This bldg was labeled “warrior” not sure why but I am going to guess it has something to do with the jerk I delivered the balloons too….

I had a room number and since there was no one at the front desk I went in search of it hoping not to get shot. I heard voices and headed in that direction….rounding the corner I saw a man hang up the phone…this man was not in uniform but it was very obvious that he was not someone to mess with. Doing my time as a dependant in the service I understand the “sir” thing…but how does a civilian address a man of this stature...Unsure I just asked for the name on the card….everyone started snickering…the man turned around and said…”I DO NOT NEED THIS SHIT TODAY!!”…okay fine but I am just the delivery girl…what do I do with the 23 balloon bouquet (two popped in the van trying to untangle them from the rest) and the dozen cookies….

The man grabs the cookies and shoved them toward the lady at the desk…then he pulls a pen from his pocket and STABS one of the balloons!! Now this motion set of the huge singing balloon in the bouquet off…”YOUR STILL THE ONE” began upon impact.

Now this just pissed off the dude more…he again stabbed a balloon…”your still the one”…began again…he proceeded to do this until all but three of the latex ones remained…each time he stabbed he would reset the song and the first line “YOUR STILL THE ONE” would play. When I left…everyone but him was laughing…and he was so pissed off his veins were bulging….guess his wife should have sent him divorce papers for their anniversary instead of balloons.

So not all my recipients greet me with enthusiasm…in fact today most did not…the others were not home…so remember it’s the thought that counts…and do not shoot the messenger.

Comments on "YOUR STILL THE ONE"


Blogger Heidi said ... (9:18 AM) : 

I wander what his wife will say when she finds out he POPPED all the balloons???


Blogger HOMER said ... (11:06 PM) : 

that's funny I don't care who you are. the devorce papers will probably be next.


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