Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Two Old Ladies Fighting In the Street.

Well the inlaws visit started out with a few minor complications.
Arriving in LA around 10:30...they vacated the car and lit up a cig.
We were all outside fooling around at the time. Thelma...that is the old ladies name...was watching.
Wanda was playing with the babies in the yard when the window came open.
Profanities flying, Eric looked up and noticed the commotion, standing he began walking across the street when the old hag called him a "blank, blank, blank, blank, blank...stinkey smoking whore."
Let's just say Wanda beat Eric across the street and the profanities began really flying.
Now this drew the attention of some of the neighbors and I noticed one calling out on a cell phone.
I thought about popping some corn and selling tickets...but this was too good to walk away from.
Thelma did not leave her window and Wanda was ready to climb the side of the house after her.
Thelma realized she was fighting a losing battle and actually threw a cup out the window at Wanda. Rocks were flying when the good ol' APD arrived....dont think they have ever had to respond to this type of fight before and were a little unsure of how to handle the situation....
well lets just say....I need to go bail Wanda out and get her to her cardiologist apt before 2.
So my mother in law has finally made it to0 Anchorage...and she still has not seen the inside of my house...and I highly recomend that you NOT call Eric any real bad names when his mother is present!!!

Comments on "Two Old Ladies Fighting In the Street."

 

Blogger K said ... (2:36 PM) : 

Your kidding! Sorry to hear about all that.

 

Blogger Stan said ... (10:01 PM) : 

This is another one of those classic cases as to why us "good" folks that live in the country do not like to visit LA. You know the folks that live in those big cities ain't just right. Now here is a case of a very quiet grandmother, who would never confront anyone unless provoked. Way to go Wanda, sorry I have to run and get a "scoop" email off to the Homer News, stop the presses - Thursday Homer News headline - "Homer Matriarch Arrested in Anchorage". This could seriously do a lot of harm in the relations between these to cities. I think I will call one of the Councilmen that I know, he beats up on Eagles but I know I can count on his support to boycott Anchorage!

 

Blogger Heidi said ... (10:35 PM) : 

I am laughing my A** off... you have got to be kidding... did she really get arrested???

fuawah fuawah fuawah (thats my word for verification...sounds like im laughing...perfect huh)

 

Blogger Stan said ... (11:05 PM) : 

Yes, she got arrested - I was laughing so hard, then realized that Shana must be leading us on so I called and verified with Eric. Not completley trusting the two of them, I checked the net and yes, she is listed as being booked and released on $500.00 bail pending a court hearing. Homer News will be in Anchroage to take pictures and do some interviews. Radio station form Homer wants to do a remote report from Shana's house. We ain't got no t.v. station or they would be there with those big antennas and reporters running up and down the street interviewing all the neighbors - my god, what will they think when they see all the stolen shopping carts in the back yard? I wanna see Homer being interviewed on "Fox News Alert", sleeveless, holding a beer, and scratching his butt while being interviewed, I precieve it to go as follows: "yep, that is my mommy over there, don't ever get mother pissed at you, she will wrup your butt! These'n are all my kids, ception that little brown one over there, she be from another country called hawaii. And this is my little lady taking the nap on the lawn, bout time I kick her in the butt to get some food kooked. Wanna a beer? Just a minute, I gotta fart. That be my truck over there, got a big bore 301 in it and four on the floor, soon as I get tires it will run good. Oh, those things stacked up over there, they be portable barbeque grills - wanna beer, oh that dog licking his butt - that be my dog, he does that all the time then eats some poop to take the taste out of his mouth, little lady just loves him to pieces and loves him to lick her face, says it is good for her complexion. You wanna interview her, I can wake her up or I can call her sister and JD Plumma, they be my relatives and live just down the street, you know they are raising frogs now and have a whole passle of little girls. They also drive a big chevy with a dual carb, accelerated, wanna a beer, but only got two on the floor, forward and back. They just got new tires down at the junk yard, two different sizes but they should be o.k as long as they put them on right. Yeh, it looks like my mommy will be going to jail, sure hopes she is out in time to cook Christmas dinner - gonna miss her but I will visit her on weekends and take her some baccky and papers so she can roll her own. Wanna a beer, someone you mighten want to talk to is that lady that lives across the street - my dog poops on her lawn but she be a nice lady unless she is kept awake all night from the noise we make when we have a get together and work on my truck in the street. Want me to wake up the litlte lady so you can talk to her - am I going to be on TV?

 

Blogger Shana said ... (12:15 AM) : 

twirdlb....kind of looks like trouble huh...Wanda is rather upset about this whole situation and I believe the part she is pissed at is her incarceration and not Thelmas. I am not sure I would approach her on this for at least a month...maybe then she will no longer have buldging veins in her forehead...on the brighter side...her heart doc said her ticker is ticking well...

 

Blogger Tabitha-n-AK said ... (7:54 PM) : 

Dude thats the funniest thing I have heard in a real long time. Erics mom huh? Now thats motherly love

 

Blogger HOMER said ... (6:29 PM) : 

first off my mom kills the turkey(it's usually dryer than a popcorn fart)
second I do not share my beer with srtangers
third it's a van
most important of all the old bitch never has a nice thing to say, even to her own children.

 

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