Sunday, September 25, 2005

This Poor House
(tune of London Bridge)

This poor house is falling down,
falling down,
falling down,
this poor house is falling down,
and the land-lord dont care.

needs a roof,
and some shingles,
some shingles
some shingles.
Needs a roof and some shingels,
and he does not care.

The slider door is falling out
falling out
falling out
the slider door is falling out
thanks to dry rot.

the front porch is rotting wood
rotting wood,
rotting wood,
the front porch is rotting wood
a home for the bugs.

Mold can grow on my linving room floor
living room floor,
living room floor,
mold will grow on my living room floor
I need a mower.

The windows leak like water falls,
water falls,
water falls,
the windows leak like water falls.
and the dumb shit says its normal.

Watch the rock fall off the wall,
off the wall,
off the wall,
watch the rock fall off the wall.
dont slam the doo-or please.

All the shit is falling apart,
falling apart,
falling apar,
all the shit is falling apart,
he'll have to go find garage sales.

The back fence is falling down
falling down,
falling down,
the back fence is falling down
the power pole will hold it.

Call the landlord to fix it up,
fix it up,
fix it up,
call the land lord to fix it up,
he'll be here tomorrow. (ya right!!)

Yes my friends Im outa here,
outa here.
outa here,
yes my friends I'm outa here,
Just a few more days, ...(I'm coutin.)

Gonna lock the keys up in the house,
in the house,
in the house,
gonna lock the keys up in the house.
he says he lost his sparrrree. (hehe we changed the locks)

Picture it......Bob...a ladder....a dry rotted porch.....he lifts his leg and swings it over the edge of the rail, pulling hard with his arms to hoist is big ass over the edge....not stopping to pull up his britches and hide the moon he steps to the slider glass door....he pulls ...nothing.....he pulls a bit harder......hmmm must be broken (duh).....noticing the two paint cans he had purchased so the Bitch could paint the house, sitting on the living room floor....house keys laying on top of the unopened can.......he grabs the door with both hands and pulls, his britches sliding lower.....creeeeaaaakkkk!!!!...whats that?.....crack......oh oh.....the door comes out of the wall frame and all....staggering backwards the reaches for the rail to catch his balance....cccccrrrrraaaaccckkkkk.............feeling the rail slowley begin falling he notices the door getting ready to sandwich him between the breaking rail.....staggering backwards his butt crashes into to rail, releasing the few nails left holding it to the bee infested porch. Bzzzzzz....oh man could it get much worse.........yep cuz ya see I no longer live here so he parcked his new blue ford in the drive way..............hahahahahahaha...welcome to my reality.

Comments on ""

 

Blogger TwistedTye~Dye said ... (12:33 AM) : 

LMAO good one chick

 

Blogger Heidi said ... (7:48 AM) : 

You are one phyco bitch....great song, i love it.
but....I can't help to imagine... you walking through the house singing it as you swing a 12 inch blade around.

 

Blogger Princess Sarah said ... (2:04 PM) : 

What a HOOT you are how long did it take for you to come up with it, get the publishing rights now! you know how many others could sing it! Thanks for the laugh and it sucks that is your reality now. Soon you will be singing a different tune.....
Oh this is my new house my new house oh this is my new house....pretty as can be ..lol together we will sing it...lol

 

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