THE END

FINALLY....Seems like I have waited forever to have my family. Now we are all here. I have cried more tears in the last two days than I think I ever have in my life. Seems my eyes just keep leaking and my heart keeps swelling....The pecking order of things has changed...At first sightof their brother Josh and Brittany realized that "picking on Donny" may have some detrimental side effects now... He is no longer that "little wimp" they had so much fun torturing. He is over six feet tall most of it being leg...his personality has not changed as much as one would think after what he has went through. He is still the loving, ready to please, little boy(with a mature man waiting on the edge to surface) hiding in that HUGE adult body. It is so weird looking at the three older children then the two younger ones...hard to believe they were all Rileys size at one time....okay maybe not Donny who was born BIG. Watching my children all together (my grand children too) I have discovered true happiness. Seeing your children love each other and bond for the common good of the family is an amazing feeling and truthfully one I thought would NEVER happen (all those fights make you think they realy do hate each other). So the competion for mom has added one more and has motivated to a new level of maturity....okay maybe not but I can hope right? It was amazing how Josh let himself actually relax. He too seemed. for the first time since we moved back home, to finally feel complete and happy. Having Donny come back to us has allowed us to move the past back and repair some old wounds. It took the boys awhile to get comfortable again...about 16 hours till the first wrestling match was on....yes Josh won BUT he is the one wearing all the rug burns and bruises...not Donny this time. Seems even though he is a lover not a fighter (he does not like the pain that goes along with a wrestling match) he is bigger and more determined than ever to NOT be the one picked on. They have grown beyond that stage but it was one of the concerns he and I had...maturity has changed the way they interact and maturity has brought them all together and made them realize that in this world they have only one constant....thats mom. They have all finally realized what I have been after for years...MOM is not the bad guy. My name has been drug through the mud, stomped on by the dogs and thrown out with the trash. Jeff has always made me look bad in their eyes...he tried hard to win their love through dominance, anger and control....a life filled with endless promises that were never kept. I (and they will all admitt it now) tried to never talk bad about Jeff when the boys were at my home. I promised nothing but my love and support. I had no monies to buy their love and told them then that some day they would understand. I cried many tears over those years as the boys found Jeffs money provided many more vacations and such than mine ever could....they grew into adolescents and their lives revolved around "what can I get out of it?". Now as young adults, even though my physical influence in their lives was minimal, they all have finally realized that through it all...no matter how bad they tried to hurt my feellings and make themselves feel better...my love for them grew there was NOTHING that they could have done that would have turned me against them....my patients and pain is being rewarded now...MY KIDS HUGGED with out having to be beet first. they are truley happy to be a family again and for one day they were kids again, not the kids from the past with lots of questions and no trust, but the kids they should have got to be. (Boy am I glad now I had them in two heeps.) You should have seen the waitress at Dennys face when I trooped in with eight kids. Okay Crystal was having to play the adult role too...we were out numbered. LOL. buddy called a screeching hault to our day and an evacuation of the resteraunt when he had to poo.....head to toe poo.....oooz out the pants leg poo...paint moms cloths poo.....I could have died of embarrassment and of course the kids paid the bill and ran before anyone knew they were with me. DENNYS STUNK!!! a poo trail on the floor from our table to the bathroom. Melissa would not even pee in the bathroom it was so bad. I did clean the bathroom as best I could with wet wipes and water (damn blow dryers do NOT clean up poo well.) I tied the trash bag closed and did replace it with the one they leave in the bottom of the can...and the kids left an extra ten bucks with the tip. LOL....dont know who cleaned the floors outside the rest room, I did appologize and made a hasity retreat for home to change the shirt and pants that I had to hand wash in DENNYS bathroom sink....here the blow dryers did come in handy. my reality