Monday, September 17, 2007


What do you get when you cross an old lady with a cane and a police man?

As the story goes....Britt still catches the bus at our Ambergate house as it is close and her assigned bus. Since the very first day of school Miss Thelma has been being herself. Britt often comes home upset as only Britt can get, about the "bad words" Thelma keeps calling her. Today she called me so I could hear Thelma at her best. She told my daughter..."Your mother should lock you in jail you little fluzy slut." "drop dead!". Now we all know Thelma is off and has now probably cursed Britt but Britt's mama...well she has been a bit off lately too.
I parked in front of her home and knocked on the door. She was in her living room and the window was open, but she would not answer the door. I informed her through the open window that if she did not come down and talk to me about this situation I was going to have the police come talk to her about verbal assault to a minor. No response. I called and was informed of the process of a restraining order that would make it illegal for her to talk to or go near Britt.
Three hours later I had the paper in my hand.
Following the law as explained to me, I drove over and parked just down the street from her home. I called the police and three cars showed up with four police men. I reassured them that she was probably harmless except for her mouth as she is old and handicapped. I was wrong!

They noted she had no house address posted and wrote a ticket for her before even going to her door. Then they made the approach. After several attempts at knocking with no answer they turned to leave. Her window flew open and "What the fuck do you want" came blaring through the curtains, before she even looked out. ooops.

They informed her they needed to talk with her and after quite the wait her door opened and the police men disappeared. For 15 minutes I sat wondering if she turned them into stew or something. Then one came out. I did not have the right last name and with no address they wanted me to describe her so they could be sure it was the right person. Then he disappeared again into the house. 10 minutes later the door again opened and the police officer returned to me letting me know they had served her and she was everything I had described her to be and then some.
He again disappeared into the house to retrieve her real name, address and age so I could resubmit the restraining order. 10 more minutes past and again the door opened. Out came the police men one at a time. As the last one was entering the door way...I saw the cane come down on the officers head...but worse I heard it from across the cul-d-sac!! Then the old lady arm shoved him off her step as she screamed..."Get the hell off my property!!"
The other officers were walking away and missed the assault...but heard it I am sure. They quickly returned to their fallen comrade and had the old lady in cuffs.

Last I saw they were half carrying her to the police car.
On my way home I received a phone call...the state is now putting a restraining order against her. She is not to talk to or go near anyone in my family for the rest of her life.
I will have to go to court in October for the final order and will more than likely be called to court as a witness in an assault to a police officer...but never again will that woman get away with calling me or Britt foul names.
What will happen to a lonely cranky old lady? I highly doubt they will put her in jail...I would not like that anyway...she will probably be evaluated by a doctor and since she has caused violence may have no choice but to live in an assisted living home where she can be watched.
As for the police man...well I was feeling guilty about the restraining I feel guilty he got hurt... but am glad I got the order...if she will cane a cop...would she cane my daughter too?

Comments on "Thelma"


Blogger Stan said ... (10:43 AM) : 

Is this Chapter 2 of the sequel "Nighmare on Ambergate"? Did you ever hear the old saying, "got me once, you do not get me twice" - I am not buying any more Thelma stories and do not even believe she exists!


Blogger Shana said ... (11:09 AM) : 

sequel and the last book I hope...this time it is truth...I have the yellow life long restraining order to prove it....who would a thought she would be dumb enough to attack a police man.


Blogger Tabitha-n-AK said ... (11:33 AM) : 

Thats crazy. I actually have scene the old bat. What a trip. Thelma strikes again.


Blogger Stan said ... (11:35 PM) : 

Thelma is a figment of everyone's imaginaiton, I have been to her house, a kindly old lady lives there. She lived in Seldovia in the ealry 50's and when she got married she moved to Anchorage. I sat and visited with her for the better part of an hour one afternoon just before Christmas, in fact she served me hot chocolate and cookies. She retired from school teaching in 1979 as a Kindergarten Teacher at Nanakua Valley School. After retiring she worked for another 12 years as a volunteer home teacher for kids who could not attend school. She donates for PFD each year to the animal shelter. She was very interesting and treated me very nice. Did you know that Arnie's wife name is also Thelma!


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