Thursday, October 08, 2009

Parenting, What exactly is it?

In college we often compared "Nature-vs-Nurture" in the psychological upraising of the human mind. Science has often fought over which has more influence on the development of a persons thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Through many years of intense research, although much of it done in orphanages around the world, science still has not made up its mind. Information gathered is biased, studies often depending on the political party in office and where the money comes from.

Lets talk...

Many famous parents seem to be doing just fine. You never hear of their children in the news and most of them refuse to talk of their children to the press. Those are good parents. In fact eventually many of their children have grown into stardom and we the general public did not even know it was coming.

The nature of these kids upraising, as well as parents who nurtured their child's privacy to grow and learn with out public media blowing things out of proportion has allowed those kids to grow into a well rounded, parent guided adult role.

So, just two years ago i voted on a woman, that woman promised that small town living was a way of life in this country, she promised she would take our childrens best interest to heart as she worked her way through politics.

A woman i have known of since high school when our sports team and hers met on the courts. A woman who had gusto and guts and seemed like the perfect choice for my children s future.

I am saddened to say it does not appear Parenting was her first choice in life. She seems to have forgotten that love and trust of a child IS what it takes to make a happy adult. She seems to have forgotten that two small babies are watching her every move, hearing her words, feeling her stresses.

While at the same time one of those babies has a teen age mom that is still trying to grow up herself with the pressures of adult hood riding hard on her shoulders.

While the child's father is out pimping himself for money, using the birth of this child as a "get rich quick scam".

Now this same woman is pressuring the president to send more troops into a very hostile environment, her own son being one of those troops. I can not help but ask myself...

Is she sacrificing her oldest child for her political gain now too?


We do not own our children, as we often think. They are small humans that have been born into a very educated world. It is our job to educate them and PROTECT them into adult hood while encouraging them to pursue their interest toward happiness.

NURTURE...The way in which we love and cherish something.

We nurture our gardens until the fruits and vegetables grow into abundant beauty....Why do we forget to do the same for the children that will someday run this world?

NATURE...oh here it is...the ENVIRONMENT in which that child (or plant) is raised.

This includes genetics, placement in the family pattern, socioeconomic levels, religion, adult role models, education, and so much more, if you let yourself think of the details that come into play when others cast judgment on the way you dress, walk, talk, or just live.

"Do's" and "Do nots" of parenting....

DO NOT sacrifice your growing teenagers emotional health by going public in a political career and flaunting her consequences and actions to the world.

DO NOT teach your grandchild that "daddies are disposable" and can be thrown (or chased away for political gain).

DO NOT ruin another developing adult (the babies daddy was also too young to deal with this) by throwing them to the wolves. Parenting takes a community as children grow into their environments.

DO...accept kids make mistakes and adults are here to help them figure out the consequences for their actions

DO...provide a loving accepting home filled with unconditional love

DO...allow the child to make mistakes, it is how we learn our best lessons.

My father once told me, in a time when I was struggling with my own identity,

"People judge you by who you are, how you act, who you hang out with, and what you say. Then form their opinion accordingly."

Daddy you were so right. What you did not tell me was...

Those opinions will last a life time, as few people remember that life is a constant growth process.

So...the example being set today, will effect the children and grandchildren for the REST OF THEIR LIVES...

The circle of life grows, effecting all who we come in contact with... A young man, who at one time was willing to hold a young girls hand through a tough teen age trial, work a decent job, and assist the family, is now pimping himself to the public. A young man at an age where money still buys happiness.

Parenting...a fine line to walk, a time to put self aside for the best of the future. A political career that you have some control over. Not one that makes any money, but having a laughing happy family is worth every cent in gold that I do not have.

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