I have returned....or have I?

My first night in civilization... I dozed of to sleep to the sounds of the street, moon light replace by the blue and red strobes of the nightly entertainment. Awaking suddenly to a noise over head I sat up ready to wake eric when I realized I was hearing the sound of a vacuum cleaner up stairs. Stretching the sleep from a body that has not slept in a real bed for months I laughed at myself and headed to the shower for an early morning wake up, and one I will admit I have missed! (now that vacuum on the other hand!) Flipping on the light I saw myself in a mirror with good lighting for the first time in months! Out came the tortures devices of female beauty... I want to go back to my cave, civilization hurts! It took me twenty minutes to remove the bush of hair that made up my eyebrow! Guess one light bulb and camper light hides those ugly hairs growing where they are not wanted! After using the WD40 I was able to open the little green bag of make up I packed memorial weekend and have opened once all summer, now identifying the contents was another story, a little black and white tube, bought for me Memorial weekend took me five minutes to figure out....who ever heard of two sided mascara, and what do you do with the white side? Poking myself in the eye three times and turning my eye lashes white I tossed the thing in the trash and found a wash cloth, now that is a familiar site... I miss the familiar faces at the local store, the ones that know what brand of cigarettes I smoke and the names of my family members. Replaced by a rock wielding weirdo that talks to his alternate personality, and grocery clerks that talk on their blue tooths instead of too their customers. But 2.50 for a gallon of milk and .99 cents for a loaf of bread would make that beautiful trip worth it once a month. oh and one more issue....can anyone explain exactly why they would put speed bumps on a round about? I think the world has lost its marbles!!